Dating Complications
by Pipper Pines
Summary: AU. Mike lives with his grandfather and siblings, Svetlana, Mal, Manitoba, and Vito. Mal and Manitoba each date the new girl, a pretty redhead named Zoey. After meeting her, Mike decides that he will protect her from his family. I love My Little Pony. Don't judge me!
1. Meet the Greenbergs

**Note: I don't own the premise of this story. It's partially based on **_**My Dysfunctional Family **_**by SailorMarble14. The only difference is that all of the personalities, except Svetlana and Chester, are the same age. While the guys are all 16 and quadruplets, Svetlana is 14 and Chester is 70. The five siblings are being raised by their grandfather. Not going to say much more or it will all be spoiled.**

Mike snored. In his dream, he was the most popular guy at school instead of Vito.

His dream girl, who would love action movies and Ultimate Kickboxing, would be insanely gorgeous and super smart, had appeared—

BAM, BAM!

"Mike, we're going to be soooo late!" Svetlana yelled. Mike woke up and went through his routine.

His morning got worse: his cereal was gone by the time he got to breakfast, he forgot his lunch, and he missed the bus.

When he got to school, he headed to class. Putting his head down on his desk, he just wanted the world to go away.

Meanwhile, Vito was talking to a new girl in _his_ homeroom class. Her skin was very pale, and her hair was cherry red.

"Okay, now look, pasty," Vito said. "You're kinda cute, but you're not my type."

The girl walked dejectedly to her English class. There, she met Mal. He, being the bold guy he is, asked her to come to his house for a date. Here's how it happened:

"Hi," the girl said unhappily, sitting down next to Mal.

"Hello, I'm Mal," he answered, holding out his hand.

"Zoey."

"Hey, you wanna come over to my house tonight?"

"Really?" She was surprised.

"Yeah."

"Cool. Uh, can you come pick me up, since I don't know where you live?"

"Sure." She handed him her address.

That night, Mike headed to Cameron's house to play video games with Cam, Sam, and Harold, Manitoba went treasure hunting, and Svetlana, Mal, and Vito stayed home.

Mal came back with Zoey around 6. Vito met her as Mal brought her in.

"Yo, bro, why you bring pasty to the house?" he asked. Zoey's chocolate brown eyes widened.

"You didn't tell me you had a brother!"

"Actually, Vito's only one of my brothers. He, Manitoba, Mike, and I are quadruplets." Svetlana came skidding down the stairs, blonde hair flying. **I had to change her look slightly (actually, a lot.) She now has long, curly blonde hair, ice-blue eyes, and is really pretty. Also, this is a little bit based on the manga series, **_**Me and My Brothers**_**, since the little sister has four overprotective older brothers. That's pretty much the only connection (unless I slip up and write more.) Since Svetlana is not a typical name in Canada or the US, her nickname is Sarah, or Sally. Done now, with this personal anecdote. Dang my science teacher! **

"Hi, Mal!" she said, her purple dress flying as she landed.

"Hi, Sally," he said through gritted teeth.

"You have a sister, too?" Zoey was smiling. "She's nicer than my twin sister." **Why, oh why, do I enjoy making multiples? You know, twins, triplets, quadruplets. I can't help it! Someone get me some help!**

The date, needless to say, went downhill from there.

Zoey met Manitoba at lunch the next day. Pretty much the same thing happened, except she and Manitoba got along well. She wanted a bit more time to get used to the town.

Mike felt like one huge boulder was in his stomach. He saw her- his dream girl! Her hair was cherry red, her eyes were chocolate brown, and her skin was pale, but not too pale. Not like Gwen's. She was talking to Dawn, the local hippie.

"… I couldn't believe I dated two guys who were from the same family, much less part of a set of quadruplets! I mean, Mal—" _Mal?! _"—was okay, but we didn't really have anything to talk about. Manitoba was better. He's going to give me some time to get used to the town before we go out again."

_Oh, cripes. She's dated _two_ of my brothers? _He didn't notice she had stopped in front of him.

"Hey, Manitoba." _Oh, fantastic, she thinks I'm Manitoba. _"Why'd you take off your hat?"

"Oh, uh, um, well—gotta go!" He ran in the other direction. As soon as he was out of her sight, he slapped his forehead. "Idiot!"

At home, he just picked at his dinner. Svetlana could tell something was wrong.

"Mike? What happened?" she asked.

"Svetlana, why am I such an idiot?"

"I dunno, maybe because you are!" joked Vito.

"Mike, what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you. I met the girl of my dreams today and she thought I was Manitoba!"

"Ouch." All four of his siblings cringed.

"After that, I was so tongue-tied that I ran off."

"What'd she look like?" Mal asked

"Well, her hair was the color of a cherry, and her eyes were chocolate brown."

"Dude, that's Zoey! She and I went out a couple days ago."

"No way!" Manitoba said. "She and I went out yesterday."

"I know," Mike said. "I heard her telling Dawn in the hall."

"Well, go get her, tiger!" Svetlana encouraged her brother.

"Thanks."

**Sorry to end it here, but if I don't I'll start rambling in the story. Yes, I think both Mal and Manitoba would be romantic rivals for Mike. If you haven't read **_**Three Guys, Two Bystanders, and One Girl**_**, read it and everything will become clear. Anyway, Total Drama: Pakhitew Island premieres on July 7! Can't wait! Also, in this AU, My Little Pony exists, and Zoey and Dawn are both Pegasisters. Not a brony or Pegasister? BECOME ONE OF US! Let's see, what else? Oh, yeah! Some of my work will not be published here. Instead, it will be published on Tia and Lulu's account. **_**The Frozen Dawn **_**and **_**The Scott VS Dawn Files**_** were my work. I'm Tia! And Pipper! Why am I still talking now?**


	2. The Greenberg Tragedy

**Yay! More time to write! Anyway, in this chapter, you'll find out why Mike and his siblings are being raised by their grandfather. Also, Xena, Zoey's twin, will be introduced. Xena is an evil twin, so she and Mal should get along just swimmingly. She also refers to herself in the third person. Hope you enjoy this new chapter!**

Mike nervously walked up to Zoey's locker.

_Why did I let them talk me into this?_ He thought. Zoey was brushing her hair. On cue, Duncan ran toward her with his knife. She let out a scream. Before Mike could do anything, a girl who looked like a hardcore version of her jumped between Zoey and Duncan. She kicked the knife out of his hand and pinned him to the ground.

"Don't mess with Xena's sister, Duncan," she said, her eyes blazing with anger.

"Plan B?" Mal asked Mike.

"Sure, know where we can find a bear?" Manitoba said sarcastically.

"Guys, just give up," Mike said after the third time they had failed. "Zoey will never fall for me. I mean, I'm just Mike. I'm not a genius like Mal, I'm not strong like Vito, I'm not brave like Manitoba, and I'm not agile like Svetlana."

"Hey, you three!" said a voice. It was Xena. "Xena wants to talk to you three about you trying to kill her sister!"

"Xena, we're not trying to kill her, we're trying to endanger her life so Mike here can save her," Mal told her.

"Why didn't you tell Xena?" she asked. "Xena loves to help people."

"Because you kinda scare people."

"Amateurs," she laughed. "Meet Xena at her house after school. Don't be late."

After school, Xena tried to calm down her twin. Zoey didn't notice the trip wire set up by the gate. As Mike came through, he tripped it, causing a Rube Goldberg machine. Darts began to fly towards Zoey.

Mike, not thinking about himself, pushed Zoey out of the way, nearly getting hit.

"Owww," Zoey said, rubbing her head. She looked at Mike. "You saved my life."

"Oh, anybody would have—" he began, but was cut off as Zoey threw her arms around him.

"Thank you!" Mike felt himself do a victory dance in his head.

"I'm Mike," he said, hoping he sounded cool.

"Zoey."

"So, uh, do you wanna go out or something?" he asked.

"It's the least I could do to thank you for saving me."

That night, Mike looked through his closet. He had decided to raid his bank account and take Zoey to one of the nicest restaurants in town: Spade.

"Hi, Mike!" Svetlana said as she chomped an apple. "Whatcha doing?"

"Svetlana, I'm not in the mood right now. I've got a date."

"With who?"

"Zoey."

"I've met her. She's nice! And she thinks I'M ADORABLE!" She yelled the last part toward Vito's room.

"Sis, if we weren't related and you were the last chick on Earth, I wouldn't date you," Vito retorted. Svetlana's face crumpled.

"Vito!" Mike yelled. "Quit being so mean to her."

"Am I really not pretty?" Svetlana asked in a tiny voice.

"Svetlana, you're at that age where people start being real jerks to you," Mike began. "Remember how I used to refuse to hang out in public? I was worried about how people saw _me_."

"I remember."

After their chat, Mike picked up Zoey and they headed to Spade. After a fairly peaceful meal, they went for a walk in the park.

"Mike?" Zoey asked after they had been walking for a while. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why do you live with your grandfather?" He sighed.

"It's not a happy story, and I don't really like to tell it. Only my close friends know."

"Sorry I asked," she said, looking sorry.

"Okay, I'll tell you. It was six, almost seven, years ago. Mom and Dad, or Greg and Lily Greenberg, were heading to Australia for a vacation together. We went to stay with my dad's dad, who lived here in Rivervale. On Svetlana's birthday, they were supposed to return. But, instead of our parents coming home, we got a letter from our uncle Ryan, who they had stayed with. He told us that Mom and Dad had gone into the outback and hadn't returned.

"For weeks, we hoped they would come home. But, after about two months of searching the outback, the search team stopped looking. As far as we know, my parents are dead. Svetlana was always sensitive, and I remember her crying for weeks after Mom and Dad were legally dead. Vito was no help, and he knows she cries easily, so he teases her because he wants her to toughen up. Before, Mom might have grounded him for it, but now…"

"Oh, dear."

"I know." Neither noticed Heather watching them from the bushes. When she got home, she began writing it as a story for the school gossip column.

The next morning, Mike went to school. Zoey tackled him in the hall and pulled him into an empty classroom.

"What is it?" he whispered.

"Did you see _The Rivervale High Herald_ today?" she asked.

"No, but what does that have to do with you tackling me?"

"Here." She handed him the paper. "In the gossip column." He flipped through. He had ended up in Heather's column more than a few times; she hated him for some reason.

"No." He gripped the paper.

"_**THE STORY BEHIND THE WEIRDO**_," the headline read. Mike read the story aloud.

"_**There is certainly more to Mike Greenberg than meets the eye. Everyone knows that. But what you didn't know was how much there was. **_

"_**When Mike was 9, his parents went on a trip to the outback, and on his sister's birthday, they found out that Greg and Lily Greenberg had disappeared. Poor Mike had to endure weeks of his sister crying her eyes out, and since his parents are legally dead, he lives with his grandfather and wants sympathy from girls by telling them this story.**_

"_**This reporter doesn't buy it. But, apparently, new girl Zoey Prescott does. Mike got her to go out with him using the story, no doubt. Ladies, be honest: Do you want a guy like that?**_

"_**Signing off, Heather Williams.**_"

Mike felt his heart racing. This was low, even for Heather.

"Mike, you have to tell Heather she needs to print a retraction," Zoey pointed out.

"I can't. She hates me."

"Then I'll go talk to her."

"Zoey, Heather can make life miserable for you."

"Who cares about me? You have friends who would stand by you no matter what. I'm just the new girl nobody likes."

"That's not true! I like you! I care about you! Everyone in my family cares about you!"

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Together, they walked toward Heather's school office. On their way there, Justin looked up from his entourage and looked Zoey over. He winked.

**Me: Oh my word! What was that?**

**Rabel: You are weird! You wrote it; you should know!**

**Me: I need to stop reading so many fanfictions. **

**Rabel: Agreed. Now go get me a latte. **

**Me: Fine. *stomps out of computer room***

**Rabel: Anyway, read and review!**


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